Unusual Tribes 15: Scarecrows

 Intro

Welcome back to Unusual Tribes, a series which evaluates the viability of several of the Magic the Gathering’s more niche creature types. This article marks the one year anniversary of this series.  Unusual Tribes 1: Skeletons came out on Halloween 2019. Due to my increased focus on producing video essays for the Macready Musings Youtube channel these articles haven’t been coming out quite as regularly as they used to. In fact the last of them, on Dogs, came out in June. I figured that given that it’s the anniversary it was time to dust this series off and write another entry.

This article will focus on Scarecrows. Partially because it’s Halloween and Scarecrows literally have the word ‘scare’ in their name. Partially because they often have pumpkins for heads. But primarily because  Scarecrows are an interesting example of a tribe which have an interesting combination of an absolutely amazing lord/commander card in Reaper King, whilst also having many, many members which are completely forgettable like Wicker Witch and Field Creeper.

The game, at time of writing, features 35 Scarecrows. Almost every single Scarecrow in Magic is a colourless artifact creature. There are only two exceptions: the aforementioned Reaper King who is 5 colours and Straw Soldiers which is blue and not an artifact. Although Straw Soldiers is unique as the only non-artifact Scarecrow in the game, it is also very expensive, due to being from Portal: Three Kingdoms which only saw a very limited release.

Early Scarecrows

Appropriately enough, the first printed Scarecrow in the game was simply called Scarecrow. Initially simply an artifact with no creature type, Scarecrow finally became a legitimate Scarecrow in 2007 when the creature type was errated onto it. Scarecrow is simultaneously a fantastically flavourful demonstration of the concept of what a Scarecrow should be and a horrendously overcosted and weak card. For 5 mana, Scarecrow provides a 2/2 stat line and can be tapped down, along with a 6 mana payment, to reduce all of the damage dealt to you by flying creatures in a given turn to 0. This makes Scarecrow live up to its name, as it can scare fliers away. Sadly it is more effective to simply kill these flying creatures entirely with a spell like Whirlwind, or to spend your mana on less situational and niche effects. Perhaps to the Vorthoses among you, however, the opportunity to have your opponent’s Nicol Bolas flee in fear before the sheer intimidating power of your straw sentinel is simply too enticing to pass up.

The Scarecrows of Shadowmoor

Shadowmoor is the plane which has provided us with by far the most Scarecrows. As Shadowmoor exists as a dark counterpart to the light and jolly plane of Lorwyn, Scarecrows were brought in to provide the transformed world with a generally creepy aesthetic. A cycle of Scarecrows was printed in both of the sets of Shadowmoor block. The first cycle, containing cards such as Blazethorn Scarecrow and Watchwing Scarecrow, buff themselves when you control a creature or multiple creatures of a set of two allied colours. The next cycle, known as the ‘skulkin’, were released in Eventide, and can provide beneficial effect to your other creatures if they are a certain colour.  Antler Skulkin can grant a white creature Persist, Jawbone Skulkin can grant a red creature Haste etc. Both of these sets of Scarecrows combo rather nicely with another Scarecrow from Shadowmoor, Scrapbasket, which can (for the cost of one mana) become all colours until the end of turn. This turns on the abilities of all of the Scarecrows from the first cycle, and means that Scrapbasket can be targeted by the effects of all of the Scarecrows from the second cycle.

Beyond playing around with different colours, many of the Scarecrows of Shadowmoor also give out -1/-1 counters in some way. Several of them, such as Lockjaw Snapper, have Wither a mechanic unique to Shadowmoor where combat damage to creatures is dealt in the form of -1/-1 counters. Wither has never been seen again, however, Infect arguably acts as its spiritual successor and will surely be terrorising commander tables for years to come. There is also Scarecrone, a card which provides a very slight slice of tribal synergy, as it allows you to sacrifice Scarecrows in order to draw cards.

The Painter and the Reaper

Of all of the Scarecrows of Shadowmoor, however, none can compare to the plane’s two most famous: Painter’s Servant and Reaper King. Painter’s Servant is notorious due to a combo which it enables. The Servant makes every card in the game, even those not in play, a specified colour.  This allows you to immediately empty an opponent’s deck when combined with the effect of Grindstone, a card from Tempest which mills the top two cards of any player’s deck and then repeats the effect if those cards share a colour.  This led to the card being banned in Commander for 10 years from 2009 until 2019. On top of this specific infamous combo, Painter’s Servant has many more uses. It turns ‘colour hoser’ cards (cards with strong effects which can only target cards of a specific colour) from being situational into being exceedingly powerful. For example, whilst Painter’s Servant is in play, Persecute allows you to discard the entirety of an opponent’s hand and Blue Elemental Blast and Red Elemental Blast become unconditional removal spells which can also be used to counter anything for only a single mana.

It is clear then that Painter’s Servant has very broad usability and that it doesn’t necessarily need to slot into a Scarecrow tribal deck. This stands in marked contrast to Reaper King, which almost single handily creates and upholds Scarecrow tribal as an archetype. Reaper King is the only real choice to be the commander of a Scarecrow EDH deck. Reaper King has a peculiar mana cost, containing a single hybrid mana symbol for each of the five colours. This hybrid mana can be be paid for using either the specified colour or two mana of any colour instead. Though rather unusual, Reaper King’s variable mana cost is a fantastic trait for a commander to have as it enables you to run as many, or as few, colours as you want to in your Scarecrow EDH deck.  As almost all Scarecrows are colourless, the colours which Reaper King grants you access too can be used exclusively on supporting spells, enchantments and other beneficial effects.

Of course a novel mana cost is far from the only thing which Reaper King has to offer. The king provides +1/+1 to every other Scarecrow you control and when another Scarecrow enters play it allows you to destroy any permanent on the battlefield. Reaper King is the defining lynchpin which holds Scarecrow decks together. Without this lone card the strength of Scarecrow decks takes a significant tumble, but with their King at their head Scarecrows can frighten off far more than just birds.

Scarecrows Since

After Shadowmoor, Innistrad is the plane which is home to the second greatest number of Scarecrows. One-Eyed Scarecrow marks another attempt to convey the role Scarecrows play in well… scaring crows. It gives your opponent’s fliers -1/-0 mildly shocking them by reducing their attack, rather than freezing them to place in terror like the original Scarecrow. One-Eyed Scarecrow is also one of only two Scarecrows with Defender (the other being Wild-Field Scarecrow) a logical choice for an ability given that most Scarecrows offensive capabilities are limited, given that they are immobile bundles of straw and wood. Harvest Hand is another notable Scarecrow from Innistrad. Harvest Hand turns from a ploughshare into a sword (well a strawman into a scythe) upon death, becoming a +1/+1 piece of equipment. Geist-Fueled Scarecrow also bears mentioning. Though not a terribly powerful card, as a 4/4 for 4 mana which makes other creatures you cast cost 1 more, Geist-Fueled Scarecrow is important as it is only Scarecrow to actually depict a crow being scared in its artwork.

Another plane which features some Scarecrows is Eldraine. Signpost Scarecrow is an unremarkable mana fixer, with Vigilance. Whilst Jousting Dummy otherwise known as ‘Syr Nobody’, at least according to their flavour text, bears a unique combination of creature types as a ‘Scarecrow Knight’. Jousting Dummy primarily exists in order to provide a colourless knight to work in Eldraine’s limited environment, where Knight tribal is a prominent theme.

We are returning to Innistrad over the course of two sets in 2021. Although much of the focus of this trip will be upon the Werewolves, Vampires and other horrors who make the plane their home, perhaps we may see a handful of new Scarecrows come our way. The best bet for anyone looking to scavenge some new parts for a Scarecrow deck lies in a return to Lorwyn/Shadowmoor, something which has got to happen eventually… Right?

Arbitrary Grades

Flavour: B-

As stated earlier several of the game’s Scarecrows weaken flying cards, conveying their real-world purpose nicely. Beyond that things gets a bit blurrier however. The ability of some Scarecrows to generate or fix mana could show their connection to the land in which they are literally planted. Although just what Wither and other effects that spread -1/-1 counters represent is anyone’s guess. Maybe it represents the straw binding the Scarecrows together, or the crops they are guarding, wilting? Though this is just speculation.

It is a bit odd that so few Scarecrows have Defender, but then the viability of the tribe would be absolutely tanked if they were all rooted in place and unable to attack. Of all of the mysteries of the multiverse which Magic the Gathering has shown us, mobile men made of straw are not too big a stretch of the imagination.

Special mention should be given here to the card Scaretiller. Whenever it is tapped you can put a land either from your graveyard or your hand onto the battlefield tapped. Part Scarecrow, part farming implement, Scaretiller’s effect is perfectly conveyed by its flavour text  ‘fields of battle turn to fields of grain’.

Viability: C

As mentioned above Scarecrows are an exceedingly strange tribe to assess. At first glance Scarecrows seem entirely mediocre and forgettable. There are only 35 of them, and many of these cards are decidedly unimpressive. There are a few scattered themes about spreading -1/-1 counters, providing mana fixing and caring about the colour of other cards. It seems that none of these ideas are developed in any great depth, to come together to give the tribe a coherent identity or game plan. But then you look at Reaper King who alone welds each of these disparate parts into a powerful whole, or at least in Commander where the King can be played reliably. Although each individual Scarecrow may be weak, when even the least impressive among them are turned into a Vindicate due to the effect of your commander they become a powerful force. Furthermore given that all of them, who aren’t named  Straw Soldiers, are artifact creatures you can support them using cards like Tempered Steel and Foundry Inspector.

Best and worst cards:

Perhaps this category has already been spoiled above, given that Reaper King and Painter’s Servant have a section exclusively dedicated to them, but they are definitely the front runners when considering which Scarecrow is best. When comparing the two, arguably, Painter’s Servant is the better card due to its broader utility. The Servant enables all sorts of crazy, game-winning combos whilst Reaper King is only really useful in the context of a Scarecrow tribal deck. Reaper King is absolutely fantastic at carrying out its one role, and there are many other tribes which could dearly use a card like it, but ultimately this is its only real use and it will never see play in a deck which doesn’t feature a large number of Scarecrows or Changelings.

Just as the best Scarecrows were given away prematurely, it will likely come as no surprise when I announce that Scarecrow is the weakest card of the tribe. Although very evocative the original Scarecrow is incredibly weak, costing a huge amount of mana whilst only providing an incredibly underwhelming stat block and an overcosted effect.  

Conclusion

I know that normally I end these articles with the grades but since this is the blog’s one year anniversary, and I am feeling sentimental, I think I’ll use this opportunity to offer some quick thanks.

First I want to thank MagisterSieran a.k.a Nakatamun Archives a.k.a ‘The Minotaur Guy’. He makes the Magic the Gathering subreddit a brighter place for everyone, and makes every set release a more exciting event due to his minotaur reviews. He has provided frequent encouragement to me in writing this column, and is just all around the friendliest bull-enthusiast you are likely to meet.

I would also like to give thanks to Tasty Cardboard another Magic the Gathering Youtuber. He makes some fantastic videos and has been very supportive of me as we both develop our respective followings.

Thanks for reading another Unusual Tribes column and here’s hoping that next year we have more wacky and weird tribal cards and fewer Okos and Uros.

Unusual Tribes 14: Dogs

Intro

Core Set 2021 looks set to shake up the game. Another powerful Teferi is on the way to terrorise the meta again, powerful cards from the past like Ugin, the Sprit Dragon and Baneslayer Angel are being reprinted and the Phasing mechanic is set to return after a 23 year long absence. Amongst all of these big alterations one small, but important, change is also occurring. Every single Hound in the game is being errated (a fancy card game term meaning ‘changed retroactively’) into a Dog. This is a small alteration, but one which Magic the Gathering’s chief designer Mark Rosewater has been campaigning for, for years. The flavour text of the card B-I-N-G-O  references this debate in its flavour text, quoting the children’s song about a Dog named Bingo but swapping the word ‘Dog’ out for the word ‘Hound’.

This shows that the great Hound/Dog debate has haunted Magic the Gathering since, at least, as far back as 2004. Now this change is finally coming to pass, and to commemorate the ‘great doggening of 2020’ this edition of Unusual Tribes will look at Dogs. We will be analysing the viability of Dogs as a create type and discussing whether it is possible to build a deck of perfect puppers, or if they are just too floofy to fight fiercely.

A History of Hounds

There are currently 89 Dogs in the game, and they are spread across all 5 colours, although they appear most frequently in white, red and green. The game even features two artifact dogs: Immolating Souleater and Leashling, with the Souleater serving as a reminder that even the Multiverse’s most malevolent terror, the Phyrexians, have a soft spot for dogs. The first dog printed in the game was Snow Hound who was released in Ice Age in 1995. Snow Hound features flavour text which is somehow simultaneously heart-warming and morbid, stating ‘If you’re starving, eat your horses, your dead, or yourself—but never eat your dog’. 

Unfortunately, many of the dogs of the Multiverse are rather forgettable. Hollow Dogs is but one of the many Dog cards in the game with bark worse than their bite, as an overcosted piece of draft chaff. Wild Dogs is another weak card and one which proves that not all Dogs are loyal by changing sides during each of your upkeeps if another player has more life than you.  The non-viability of Dogs is made all the more apparent when they are compared to their ancient rivals, Cats.

Cats have been a viable tribe in Magic the Gathering for years. Savannah Lions, was one of the game’s premier aggro cards for many years. Amonkhet block featured Cat tribal as a prominent theme, as demonstrated by cards like Pride Sovereign and Regal Caracal. Finally, Feline Ferocity a preconstructed Commander deck based around Cats, was released in 2017. Dogs, however, have not been so lucky.  This even applies to their humanoid counterparts.  The catlike Leonin are a regular presence across many planes, from Mirrodin to Theros.  The doglike, Ainok, meanwhile, have so far appeared exclusively on Tarkir.

Until very recently, neither ‘Dog’ or ‘Hound’ tribal have ever been attempted as a theme and no real synergies have ever existed to encourage you to run multiple dogs together. Core Set 2021 and Jump Start are set to shake things up though, by printing a plethora new Dogs. 

Rin, Seri, the Pack leader and Others

Upon being revealed, the card Rin and Seri, Inseparable captured  the hearts of the Magic the Gathering community. The card is widely regarded as an adorable and evocative piece of design, as evidenced by the dozens of memes which affectionately parodied it that accompanied its reveal. The card depicts a heart-warming friendship between a dog named Rin and cat named Seri. Whenever you play a Dog, you create a 1/1 Cat token and whenever you play a Cat you create a 1/1 Dog token. The card also has an activated ability which deals damage to any target equal to the number of Dogs you have in play and the heals you equal to the number of Cats you control. Rin and Seri were clearly designed to be a commander which enables you to weld both Cat and Dog tribal themes together into a single deck. The card enables you to run the feline/canine strategy of your dreams. Time will tell just how powerful this will turn out to be, and whether cat/dog decks may even see some fringe play in standard. At the very least, the card is an interesting experiment.

Pack Leader is the next innovation brough about by Core Set 2021, it’s a lord for Dogs and a powerful one at that. Pack Leader grants all of your Dogs +1/+1 and invulnerability to combat damage whilst they are attacking for a mere two mana, this is a fantastic deal and any Dog deck should run as many copies of it as they can get their hands on. The card is more powerful than most lords, which typically cost more mana and don’t grant abilities as useful as imperviousness to combat damage. This may be balanced out slightly by the relative weakness of Dogs as a tribe prior to this point.

Core Set 2021 is not the only newly released product to contain new treats for Dog decks. Jump Start contains a collection of canine cards. Trusty Retriever is a 2/3 for 4 that can either gain a +1/+1 counter or return an artifact or enchantment from your graveyard to your hand as it enters play. You can also let the dogs out by casting Release the Dogs a 4 mana spell which creates 4 1/1 white dog tokens, although unless you have some way to buff these dogs their arrival may be slightly anticlimactic.

Finally Jump Start contains a thematically appropriate plains cards featuring some Dog-based artwork, which you can use to bling out your deck, possibly alongside a Cat-based forest if you’re running a Rin and Seri deck.

A Side Note on Cerberus

Before we get to the grades, I would just like to take a quick moment to discuss how Magic the Gathering has portrayed one of the most famous dogs of Greek Mythology. Cerberus, the pet of Hades and the guard dog of the Underworld has been represented on several Magic the Gathering cards.

There are also two widely different, but equally flavourful, portrayals of Cerberus, which I feel deserve attention here. Underworld Cerberus from the original Theros can’t be blocked except by three or more creatures, demonstrating the fact that it has three heads. Underworld Cerberus also prevents cards in graveyards from being targeted by spells or abilities, showing that whilst Cerberus is guarding the gates, access to the underworld is sealed off. But when Underworld Cerberus dies, every creature in each players’ graveyard returns to play in a chaotic burst, as the souls of the dead flood back into the mortal world. Kunoros, Hound of Athreos, released in Theros Beyond Death, has an arbitrary collection of Keywords, as many modern legendary creatures often do. In addition, Kunoros prevents creatures and spells from the graveyard from being cast. An effect which was incredibly relevant in the Limited environment of Theros Beyond Death, which was based around the Escape mechanic, causing spells and creatures from the Graveyard to thematically escape from the Underworld and return to play.  A feat that can no longer be accomplished whilst Kunoros is on the battlefield.

 

Arbitrary Grades

Flavour: B

So what comes to mind when we think of dogs? A few words that come to mind are loyalty, companionship, optimism and energy. How well does Magic the Gathering convey these ideas?

The loyalty of Dogs to their owners is demonstrated in an often tragic way. Many dogs, such as Selfless Saviour and Resolute Watchdog  can sacrifice themselves in order to grant another creature indestructible, thematically these doggos are leaping in and taking a lethal blow for their master.  Companionship is demonstrated very literally through Dogs which possess the Companion mechanic such as Chakram Retriever and Pako, Arcane Retriever. Both of these Dogs can also play fetch with their companions. This is represented by Chakram Retriever untapping Chakram Slinger each time you cast a spell and Pako placing fetch counters on cards from each player’s library which you can then cast through the effect of Haldan Avid Arcanist.

Finally the optimism and energy of dogs is reflected by giving some of them a handful of abilities like First Strike and Haste, showing how they will bound towards opponents, just as real dogs bound towards their owners when they return home.

All in all, I think the Dogs of Magic are authentically portrayed. Perhaps a few more of them could have keyword abilities like Haste and First Strike as only a small amount have these flavourful energetic abilities. Furthermore, maybe loyalty could be demonstrated in new, non-lethal, ways. For example, some Dogs could be printed which cannot change controller. This would mean that they no longer to sacrifice themselves in order to prove their loyalty, as I don’t know how many more dogs forced into martyrdom my poor heart can take.

Viability: D

Awarding a grade here is slightly difficult.  It can only really be speculative, as the support which Core Set 2021 and Jump Start will provide have yet to arrive. It seems as though Rin and Seri decks will work in Commander, and possibly even in Standard, but those decks aren’t really ‘Dog Tribal decks’ as you’ll need to make use of several cats as well.

So running an independent Dog deck currently seems difficult. Core Set 2021 does represent a massive increase in support for Dog-decks and it is possible that they will become increasingly viable as time goes on. For now, however, a D seems appropriate.

Best and worst cards:    

The best Dog is difficult to determine. There have only been a few powerful and impactful Dogs in Magic’s history. Wild Mongrel is a powerful enabler of the Madness mechanic, as it enable you to discard as many cards as you need to at any given moment. Isamaru, Hound of Konda is another powerful Dog who is notable for being the only 1 mana 2/2 creature in the game with no downside, aside from being Legendary. Though the card is, as yet, unreleased  (at least outside of arena) Pack Leader is probably a contender here. None of these cards are terribly game breaking, however, and there’s definitely room for more powerful Dogs in the future.

The worst Dog, however, is a clear choice.  Filthy Cur is a 2 mana 2/2, but any damage it takes is dealt to you.  Although its stats are far from awful, it is often a massive liability, especially when you are playing against a Red deck, as their removal suite is based on effect which deal damage. A Shock or a Lightning Bolt is twice as painful if it zaps both you and your pet.

I mentioned above that Wild Dogs changes sides during each of your upkeep phases. As a 2/1, for 1 mana it definitely doesn’t have the stats to justify this deeply negative ability, it didn’t when it was printed and it certainly doesn’t now. The fact that the card can simply be cycled away, however, prevents it from being as bad as Filthy Cur, as you can just pay a bit of mana and swap it for the top card in your deck if an opponent has significantly more life than you.

Unusual Tribes 13: Golems

Intro

This week’s Unusual Tribes column will analyse Golems, a creature type that has always been dear to my heart. 11 years ago now, I (as a child) cracked open a Magic 2010 booster pack and saw, what I believed at the time, to be the most powerful Magic: The Gathering card I had ever laid eyes upon. Darksteel Colossus . Shovelling together as many ramp spells as I could, I quickly headed off to Friday Night Magic, one of the first I had ever attended, where I pitted my ‘Mono-Green Colossus’ deck against anyone who would oppose me. I was promptly destroyed by some folks in their twenties playing competently crafted decks. Nevertheless, that copy of Darksteel Colossus still sits proudly in my binder, even if the deck I initially built around it has been long since disassembled.

Magic: The Gathering is currently home to 114 Golems, with a handful of extra cards that generate Golem tokens such as Tuktuk the Explorer, Golem Foundry and Masterful Replication. Golems are always artifact creatures, and are typically cast for colourless mana with the exception of Glassdust Hulk and Salvage Titan the first of which is cast using white and blue mana, and the latter of which is cast using  black.

Culturally, Golems are drawn from Hebrew folk lore. They were protective beings sculpted from clay or mud.

Golem Gameplay

The fact that all Golems are artifact creatures is both a blessing and a curse. Golems benefit from cards which synergise with artifacts such as Chief of the Foundry, Master of Etherium and Tempered Steel which make them more powerful and Foundry Inspector and Etherium Sculptor which make them cheaper. Tolarian Academy synergises well with Golem decks if, for some reason, you are playing a niche tribal deck in a format where one of the game’s most powerful cards is legal.

Unfortunatley, Golems being artifacts means that they are vulnerable to both creature and artifact removal spells. Cards like Shatterstorm and By Force are a massive threat to you, although such cards are typically too narrow in their use to be run in the main deck and need to be brought in from the side board.  Cards like Reclamation Sage and Thrashing Brontodon are perhaps more of a concern to you.  Though they target less of your Golems at once than a card like Shatterstorm they are versatile enough that they may appear in a deck’s main body of cards, especially in Commander where Reclamation Sage is a staple due to being a useful card which is included in many preconstructed decks.

Golems themselves also provide a variety of effects which synergise with other artifacts, and thus with other Golems. Mycosynth Golem possesses the infamous ‘Affinity for artifacts’ ability and grants it to every artifact creature in your deck when it is in play. Golem Artisan can also be used to buff artifact creatures, including itself, granting them both statistical bonuses and new abilities. Lodestone Golem makes non-artifact spells cost 1 more, a penalty which won’t effect you if you are running an artifact heavy deck, but will frustrate your opponent (or opponents) especially if you have multiple Lodestone Golems out at the same time.

One of the strengths of Golem tribal decks is that that they are quite good at generating mana of many different colours.  Solemn Simulacrum is one of the most popular ways of fetching basic lands outside of green  and happens to be a Golem. The Attendant Cycle from Invasion are five golems who can be sacrificed to give you three mana spread across three colours, whilst Composite Golem from Darksteel can be sacrificed to provide one mana from each of the five colours. The lands ramped out by Solemn Simulacrum or the mana generated through sacrificing Composite Golem can then be used to activate the effects of other Golems. Most notably, by paying one mana of each colour, Etched Monstrosity gains +5/+5 and lets you draw 3 cards..

Precursor Golem is a high risk, high reward Golem tribal card to consider.  The card certainly offers a powerful effect upfront, bringing out three 3/3 Golems for only 5 mana. Precursor Golem  then has an effect which is largely a downside. Whenever an instant or sorcery targets only a single Golem you control, it instead targets every Golem you control. Although this does make combat tricks you cast, like Giant Growth, much stronger, as they power up your entire field, this positive is outweighed by the effects negative implications. Whilst Precursor Golem is in play a single removal spell targeted at one of your Golems will kill them all. Ideally you want to get Precursor Golem killed in combat as quickly as possible, so that you don't have its effect hanging over your head.

Another card to consider when building a Golem tribal deck is Brass Herald. Brass Herald is a Golem who can act as the lord for a specified creature type as it enters play. Although Brass Herald is slightly impractical, and a little underpowered by Modern standards (just compare the Herald to Morophon, the Boundless) it’s still a novel and fun card.  When played in a Golem deck,  Brass Herald actually buffs itself which is pretty neat, if not overly useful. 

The Splicers

Golems are supported by a series of cards known as Splicers. These Splicers were printed in  New Phyrexia in 2011. They aren’t really a cycle (see this video for a definition of cycles and a discussion of their purpose) as they are of varying rarities and aren’t spread across all 5 colours. Splicers exist only in White, Blue and Green. Each of them generates a 3/3 Golem token and grants Golems you control an ability. Blade Splicer grants your Golems First Strike, Sensor Splicer gives them Vigilance, Wing Splicer grants them Flying and Vital Splicer allows them to Regenerate. Master Splicer, rather than granting any abilities, acts as a lord and grants your Golems +1/+1 whilst Maul Splicer generates two 3/3 Golem tokens, along with granting your Golems Trample.

These cards are reasonably powerful. If you’re drafting New Phyrexia they are acceptable picks even if you control no other Golems or means of generating them. Blade Splicer, for instance, generates 4/4 worth of stats spread out over two bodies for only 3 mana. This would be reasonably powerful now and was even more powerful in the typically lower powered Limited environments of 2011. Naturally, however, Golem tribal deck are where these Splicers really shine. In these decks, they are able to buff a wide selection of your creatures, rather than merely a handful of tokens, and work synergistically with one another. Each one of them provides more and more Golems, as well as more and more buffs for those Golems.

Thematically the Splicers represent Phyrexia’s ultimate victory over Mirrodin. They demonstrate a group of human artificers, who have accepted Phyrexia’s ideology of improvement through integration with metal and have melded themselves with machinery.

The spell Splicer’s Skill, in Modern Horizons, acts as an homage to the Splicers. It generates a 3/3 Golem and, borrowing a mechanic from Kamigawa block, can be spliced onto other spells by paying a small cost. This is a piece of game design which is simultaneously singularly clever, and a slightly cheesy joke.

Karn Cards

Easily the most famous Golem in Magic: The Gathering is Karn. Originally crafted from silver by Urza, Karn is one of the longest running characters in Magic: The Gathering’s story. Karn served aboard the Weatherlight, constructed the plane of Argentum, which later became Mirrodin, and now seeks to destroy the Phyrexians who corrupted his creation.

Karn was first printed as Karn, Silver Golem in Urza’s Saga, back in 1998. This is a very evocative card, as it demonstrates Karn’s nature as a gentle giant very well. Karn is a 4/4 for for five mana, however, he gains -4/+4 whenever he blocks or becomes blocked. This demonstrates Karn refusing to use his power to harm opponents and instead focusing on non-violence and self-defence. This version of Karn also allows you to transform a non-creature artifact you control into an artifact creature with power and toughness equal to its converted mana cost.

Karn would not see print again until 2011, 13 years later. He came back in the form of Karn Liberated. Obtaining the spark of the Planeswalker Venser, Karn became capable of travelling across the multiverse. This printing of Karn is an integral component of so called ‘Tron decks’ which use the 3 ‘Tron Lands’ (Urza’s Power Plant, Urza’s Mine and Urza’s Tower) to race out powerful colourless threats quickly.  Karn Liberated acts as a universal removal spell, allowing you to exile any kind of permanent from play, or exile a card from your opponent’s hand. Karn Liberated’s Ultimate ability restarts the game, but allows Karn’s controller to immediately play all the cards exiled using his abilities. This is one of many Planeswalker ultimates that effectively says ‘win the game’.

Taking another long absence, Karn saw print again in 2018’s Dominaria. Karn, Scion of Urza , though not quite as powerful as Karn Liberated, is still an effective and powerful card due to it’s colourless nature letting it easily slot into many decks. This version of Karn’s +1 and -1 Loyalty abilities both essentially allow you to draw cards and it’s ‘ultimate’ costs a mere two loyalty points and enables you to create a Construct artifact creature token with power and toughness equal to the number of artifact creatures you control. This means that Karn, Scion of Urza slots neatly into a Golem tribal deck,  as such a deck would be loaded with artifact creatures to pump the constructs strength up.

Finally, the most recent version of Karn to see print, came out in War of the Spark in 2019. Karn, the Great Creator is a Planeswalker built to synergise with artifacts you control, with a passive ability that prevents opponent from activating abilities on their own artifacts. The card’s +1 loyalty ability is the same as Karn, Silver Golem’s ability to turn your artifacts into creatures and its -2 ability allows you to bring artifacts into your hand from the sideboard or exile.

Arbitrary Grades

Flavour: C+

Golems are a staple of the fantasy genre. The Golems of Magic tend to have their mechanical nature emphasised. I feel that this causes them to occupy a somewhat narrow space creatively. Golems in folklore were sculpted from clay, and they are often depicted being composed of all sorts of materials. The need to make Golems Artifact creatures has resulted in Magic: The Gathering featuring almost exclusively metallic or mechanical Golems. As such I feel there is still a bit of untapped space to explore with the Golems of Magic: The Gathering. With that said Phyrexian Golems, like all creatures from the nightmarish plane, are an interesting synthesis of flesh and metal.

In terms of how ‘Golem Identity’ is conveyed, other than the fact that they are all artifacts, there isn’t really a cohesive thread tying them all together. Karn, Silver Golem’s gentle giant nature, as well as the relatively high number of Golems with Defender, could be an homage to the concept of Golems acting as guardians and protectors in folklore.

There is plenty of room to expand what Golems can do in the future. Gingerbrute represents a step in the right direction, as an edible golem crafted from food. Eldraine’s little gingerbread Golem demonstrates that they can be more than just generic artifact creatures.

Viability: B

Golems are a reasonably fun and powerful tribe to build a deck around. Primarily, this is because they are Artifacts. There is a reason why Mirrodin and Kaldesh are remembered as two of the most powerful blocks in the history of the game. The colourless nature of artifacts allows you to run a far more varied mana base, without hamstringing your ability to bring out threats. You can include powerful Black and White removal spells in a Golem deck, whilst also accessing the mana ramp provided by Green or the card draw provided by Blue. Artifacts also enable the powerful Affinity mechanic

Beyond merely being Artifacts, however, there are several reasons why you might want to build a Golem deck. The Splicers are powerful payoffs which reward decks that run a high number of Golems. You’re also provided with a thematic reason to bring all the Karn Planeswalkers together.

Overall then Golem decks are fun to build and are reasonably powerful, at least by the standards of niche tribal decks.

Best and worst cards:

In this category I feel obligated by my child self (and the story I shared above) to nominate Darksteel Colossus as one of the best cards of the tribe. Yes it’s impractical, yes it’s second ability prevents it from being re-animated forcing you to pay it’s prohibitive mana-cost and yes Blightsteel Colossus is significantly more viable, but I feel like Darksteel Colossus has to make it onto my personal list. The card taught me an important lesson about Magic, bigger doesn’t always mean better and there is more to the game than slamming down the largest creature possible. So Darksteel Colossus made me a better player, meaning it’s improved every deck I’ve built since the impractical mono-green one I made featuring it. This earns it a place as the best Golem card in my personal experience.

For a more genuinely viable ‘best Golem’, however, we should turn our attention to Platinum Emperion. Just like Darksteel Colossus Platinum Emperion is a tad on the expensive side, but it more than makes up for its cost due to its powerful effect. Whilst Platinum Emperion is in play you cannot lose, or gain, life. This forces your opponent to remove it if they want to progress the game, unless their deck is built around milling or another alternate win condition.

In the right deck, Mycosynth Golem is also very powerful. Although its cost is significant, it can be reduced greatly through use of Affinity and Mycosynth Golem can then heavily decrease the cost of future artifacts you play. The aforementioned Blightsteel Colossus can also turn a games around very quickly, if it has time to make it into play.  If Blightsteel Colossus gets through unblocked it instantly destroys an opponent through the poison counters it generates.

At the other end of the spectrum, Phyrexian Hulk is definitely one of the worst Golems in the game, costing 6 mana and providing a meagre stat line of 5/4.  This is especially sad as the Hulk has some of the best flavour text in the game, an Onean nursery rhyme that is simultaneously innocent and morbid.

‘It doesn't think. It doesn't feel.

It doesn't laugh or cry.

All it does from dusk till dawn

Is make the soldiers die.’

So although Phyrexian Hulk is definitely aesthetically chilling, it’s artwork and flavour text can’t save it from its place as one of the game’s weakest Golems.

Junk Golem is also pretty bad, costing four mana it enters play as an 0/0 with three +1/+1 counters. Junk Golem must be sacrificed, unless you remove a +1/+1 counter from it during each of your upkeep phases. You can place more +1/+1 counters on Junk Golem at the cost of discarding a card and paying one mana. Even when playing Madness decks, where discarding cards is actively beneficial, there are far better enablers you can use. In any other kind of deck Junk Golem lives up to its name and is absolute trash.

Unusual Tribes 12: Demons

Intro

This week’s Unusual Tribes column will dive into the depths of hell to analyse Demons. 108 Demons currently exist in Magic: The Gathering. As Black’s Iconic creature type the overwhelming majority of these Demons are printed in Black. There are, however, 2 Demons from Kamigawa block Oni of Wild Places and Shimatsu the Bloodcloaked, which are Mono-Red.

Demons are one of Magic: The Gathering’s most evocative Tribes. Demonic entities are present in almost all major world religions as embodiment of evil and representations of sin. Magic: the Gathering captures this flavour brilliantly. They are a tribe that is terrifically fun to play, but one which may end up hurting you more than they do your opponent…

Power At A Price

Demons have been with the game since it began. Alpha introduced both Demonic Horde and Lord of the Pit. Lord of the Pit is, in many ways, Magic’s archetypal Demon. He establishes their primary theme, namely that Demons are incredibly powerful creatures, but that this power comes at a price.

Although Lord of the Pit does not so look so impressive by modern standards, in comparison to Alpha’s other creatures, Lord of the Pit really stands out. Upon release, Lord of the Pit was statistically the second strongest creature in the game, beaten out only by Force of Nature. For 7 mana, Lord of the Pit offers a 7/7 stat line with Flying and Trample. In return for this strength, however, he requires his controllers to sacrifice another creature at the beginning of each of their turns or else take 7 damage.

Other Demons would follow the example set by Lord of the Pit. Many members of the tribe are undercosted and have fantastic stats, but penalise you for playing them. Master of the Feast is a 5/5 with Flying for only 3 mana, but allows each opponent to draw a card during all of your upkeep phases. Yawgmoth Demon is well-stated for his cost, but forces you to sacrifice an artifact or take 2 damage each turn. Treacherous Pit-Dweller provides incredible strength for its cost, as a 4/3 for only 2 mana, but proves the accuracy of its name by returning to play stronger and under the control of an opponent

after it dies.

Abbysal Persecutor is, arguably, the most extreme example of a Demon providing power at a price. A 6/6 with Flying and Trample for only 4 mana, Abbysal Persecutor has greats stats for its cost. This strength is weighed against the considerable downside of the Persecutor literally preventing its controller from winning the game as long as it remains in play.  This makes Abbysal Persecutor the polar opposite of the card Platinum Angel printed in Mirrodin. Platinum Angel, as a 4/4 for 7 mana, is overcosted but prevents its controller from losing the game whilst it remains in play. Even though these mirrored effects were printed in sets released 7 years apart, the fact that one of them belongs to an Angel and the other a Demon makes it clear that this parallel is intentional.

So just what flavour are Wizards of the Coast attempting to evoke by presenting Demons as creatures with tempting stats, but huge downsides?  Well one of the most famous stories regarding Demons is the old German folk tale of Doctor Faustus, famously adapted into a play by John Marlowe in the late 16^th century. Doctor Faustus is the tale of a brilliant scholar who sells his soul to the demon Mephistopheles (a literary character who also appears in the infamously confusing Magic card Chains of Mephistopheles)  in return for being granted incredible power. Faustus spends his time with Mephistopheles abusing his newfound powers, gradually committing increasingly morally reprehensible actions. Faustus comes to believe that the Demon is his friend, before ultimately being proven wrong and dragged screaming down to hell to suffer eternal damnation.

The story of Faustus informs the presentation of Demons in Magic: the Gathering. Their incredible power for a, seemingly, low cost offers a dark temptation. A player summoning a Demon is forced to pay a price. Whilst there is a chance that they can use the demon effectively and come out on top, it’s also possible that they could end up like Faustus, condemning themselves to failure in an attempt to wield dark powers they cannot truly control.

A Demonic Education

Demonic Tutor allows you to search through your deck for any card and place it into your hand. Later cards with this effect are now also called ‘Tutors’ in reference to this. By casting Demonic Tutor, the player is being taught mystical and forbidden arts by a demon whispering on their shoulder. The forbidden information which the Demon teaches them is represented by the spell they draw from their deck.

Rune-Scarred Demon and Razaketh, the Foulblooded also both have tutoring effects, furthering the association of Demons with this ability.  Demons such as Kothophed, Soul Hoarder, Vilis Broker of Blood and Doom Whisperer who provide card draw, or knowledge of the top of your deck, at the cost of draining away your life tell a similar story. They are tempting their controller with dark knowledge at the cost of slowly stripping away their humanity, which is represented by life loss. The flavour text of Doom Whisperer makes this abundantly clear, ‘The sound of every twisted secret tempts you to hear another’.

The case of the Disappearing Demons

Between 1995 and 2002 not a single Demon was printed. They were replaced by Horrors as Black’s 

iconic creature type during these years. Wizards of the Coast made this decision as they were worried that, by featuring Demons in their escapist fantasy game, they would be accused of promoting Satanism. Hysterical accusations of this sort had been raised against Dungeons and Dragons in the 1980s and Wizards of the Coast, fearing the worst, did not wish to become the recipients of similar backlash.

Magic the Gathering was really beginning to grow as a game between 1995 and 2002, and it was feared that now that the game was becoming increasingly mainstream, its larger platform would draw the attention and ire of concerned parents wishing to protect their children from the supposedly satanic influences of trading cards. As such the decision was made to scratch the word ‘Demon’ off of the creature type line of Black’s bombiest threats and replace it with the word ‘Horror’. This was an exceedingly superficial change. You only need to look at the artwork of a card like Abyssal Horror to see that everything about the card’s art still depicted a Demon, it was just being called a ‘Horror’ instead to evade the attention of concerned parents. In 2002 Grinning Demon was printed in Onslaught, marking the return of Demons to the game. Horrors then attained an identity all of their own, evolving divergently from their Demonic predecessors. Horrors are now associated with Nightmares (such as the horror tokens spawned by Ashiok) and Eldritch spookiness (such as the Horrors associated with House Dimir of Ravnica).

Wizards of the Coast parodied the manner in which they had removed Demons from the game in the 1998 joke set Unglued. The set featured the card, Infernal Spawn of Evil, whose artwork depicted an adorable squirrel and whose type-line featured the word ‘Demon’ crossed out in red marker and replaced with the word ‘Beast’.

Rakdos: the Demon, the Cult, the Legend

By far the most famous Demon in Magic: the Gathering is the Demon Lord Rakdos. Master of the eponymous cult of Rakdos, he is represented on 3 distinct cards, one from each of our visits to Ravnica.

Rakdos the Defiler, printed in Dissension, is a 6 mana 7/6 with Flying and Trample. Whenever Rakdos the Defiler attacks you must sacrifice half of the non-Demon permanents you control, rounded up. If the attack damages with your opponent, then they must then sacrifice half of their non-Demon permanents. This version of Rakdos is arguably his weakest incarnation. It may seem like this particular Rakdos would make the perfect commander for a Demon tribal deck, but this is not the case. It’s important to note that the card makes you sacrifice half of your ‘permanents’, rather than half of your ‘creatures’. This means you take a huge slice out of your land base, as well as any artifacts, enchantments or Planeswalkers you may have in play each time you attack.  This card becomes even more impractical in Commander, as only the opponent you attack with Rakdos is forced to make any sacrifices. This leaves the rest of the players sat around the table totally untouched whilst you decimate the boards of only a single target and yourself.

Next is Rakdos, Lord of Riots from Return to Ravnica. A 6/6 with Flying and Trample for the price of a mere 2 red and 2 black mana, Rakdos, Lord of Riots cannot be summoned unless  your opponent has lost life in a given turn. This is an easy condition to meet, however, and once the Lord of Riots is in play he makes each creature spell you want to cast cost 1 mana less for each life your opponents have lost in a turn. Rakdos, Lord of Riots combos brilliantly with several Rakdos cards introduced in Ravnica Allegiance, such as Spawn of Mayhem, which deals damage to each player at the beginning of each of your upkeep phases. Spawn of Mayhem allows you to summon Rakdos, Lord of Riots and activate the Spectacle effect of any Rakdos cards from Allegiance before even needing to go to the combat step. Rakdos, Lord of Riots is a significantly more practical card than his earlier counterpart and is very easy to build a deck around.

Finally is Rakdos, the Showstopper from Ravnica Alligence. A 6 mana 6/6 with Flying and Trample. When Rakdos, the Showstopper enters play each players must flip a coin for every creature they control which is not a Demon, a Devil or an Imp. The card then destroys every creature whose coin comes up Tails. This effect makes this iteration of Rakdos the best tribal Commander of the three. He allows players to batch together Demons, Devils and Imps into a single unified deck, allowing you to, ideally, kill a significant fractions of your opponents' creatures as he enters play whilst preserving your own.  Mirror March, also released in Ravnica Alligence, combos nicely with Rakdos, the Showstopper. Mirror March allows you create a token copy of each creature you control when it enters play, if you can call a coin flip correctly. This (ideally combined with Krark’s Thumb to increase your chance of calling the flip) potentially allows you to summon even more iterations of  Rakdos, the Showstopper, which in turn forces your opponents to flip another set of coins to keep their creatures safe. This can seriously pressure your enemies, or at least hugely annoy them by forcing them to spend five minutes flipping coins. This can be built up into a ‘Coin-Flips matter’ deck by incorporating Chance Encounter, a card which allows you to win the game 

if enough coin flips come up in your favour.

Rakdos is also featured on the artwork of several Instants and Sorceries, most notably Rakdos’s Return. Rakdos’s Return allows its caster to pay a single Black and Red mana plus X in order to make target Opponent discard X cards and take X damage. This card is notable as it is the mirrored counterpart of Sphinx’s Revelation, which has an inverse effect which allows its controller to draw X cards and gain X life.

Arbitrary Grades

Flavour: A

As I hope I’ve made clear throughout this article, the flavour of Demons in Magic: the Gathering is fantastic. They force their controllers into making sacrifices in the name of pursuing quick and easy power. This is a brilliant execution of the concept of striking a pact with a Demon which is prominent in so many works of fiction.  Players, can mimic the tale of Doctor Faustus by indebting themselves to a fiend. The parallel to the tale of Doctor Faustus can most clearly be seen in the flavour text attached to most modern reprintings of Lord of the Pit ‘My summoning begins your debt, Planeswalker.’. This Faustian portrayal has become the standard even beyond Magic when Demons are depicted on trading cards. Hearthstone employs the exact same technique with Demonic cards such as Pit Lord and Felguard which offer high stats at a low price, for a painful cost. Magic: the Gathering can thus be accredited with establishing the definitive depiction of Demons in card game form.

Viability: C-

For all of their flavour, Demons do not really possess many tribal synergies. Putting too many Demons into a single deck, would quickly spiral out of control. You would be required to pay price, after price in order to keep them all out on the field at once, making keeping a large board impractical. Perhaps it’s thematically appropriate that Demons are far too individually proud to ever cooperate with one another. With that said, there are certainly enough Demons who do not individually penalise you to put them all together into a deck, and many demons are hugely powerful cards. Additionally Demons who make you sacrifice creatures to keep them in play, such as Abhorrent Overlord , can turn their downside into an upside when used in conjunction with Sacrifice matters cards like Mayhem Devil or Cruel Celebrant. The closest to a tribal option available is provided by Rakdos, the Showstopper  who offers an incentive to brew a deck featuring a mixture of Demons, Imps and Devils .

Best and worst cards:

To the surprise of nobody, I am nominating Griselbrand as the best card of the tribe. An 8 mana 7/7 with Flying and Lifelink, Griselbrand’s primary selling point is his ability which allows his controller to pay 7 life to draw 7 cards.  Though this life payment may seem like a steep price, the fact that Griselbrand possess Lifelink allows him to heal any damage which he deals to you, effectively allowing you to draw 7 cards whilst bringing out a 7/7. Griselbrand is typically the win condition of re-animator decks in Modern. These decks which attempt to quickly get Griselbrand into the graveyard, in order to later return him to play using a cheap card like Goryo’s Vengeance which circumvents his steep mana cost.

The worst demon, again by a huge margin, is Shimatsu the Bloodcloaked. A 0/0 for 4 mana, Shimatsu the Bloodcloaked allows you to sacrifice any number of permanents as it enters play, in order provide it with that many +1/+1 counters. A sacrificed permanent in return for a +1/+1 counter is usually not a great deal, and even if you buff Shimatsu the Bloodcloaked to a huge size it possesses no protection, or even any form of evasion in order to make those huge stats matter. Like many other Demons, Shimatsu needs to be paid for in blood, however, unlike his counterparts, he does not offer any crdible power in order to warrant your huge sacrifices.

When discussing the worst Demons in the game, Halo Hunter deserves an honourable mention. A 6/3 for 3 Black and 2 colourless mana with Intimidate (which is essentially the mechanic which later evolved into Menace) Halo Hunter is far from terrible. The card even possesses the ability to destroy target Angel as it enter play which, though extremely conditional, is exceedingly powerful if it ever goes off. So what makes Halo Hunter notably bad? Well in the standard of Halo Hunter’s time by far the most viable Angel was Baneslayer Angel a card which, due to its protection effect, Halo Hunter is completely unable to destroy rendering the cards one obscure niche even less useful.

So even though Halo Hunter probably isn’t strictly bad enough to warrant mention among the worst Demons - it’s practically awe-inspiring when compared to the likes of Shimatsu the Bloodcloaked - I feel that his comical failure to complete his only job makes him notable enough to discuss here.